Tuesday, 29 June 2010

Less than 3 weeks left~

There is a rule among the students of XLP at the moment: Dont talk about the End Times. And no, that doesnt mean eschatology, but the fact we only have 3 weeks of XLP left. Shoot me ;)

The grand theory of XLP eschatology atm is Graduation, which you are all invited to. We are doing a student song, which is meant to be a surprise but tbh we are so loud when we are rehearsing i think the staff probably know the words off by heart by now anyway XD

I personally believe that after XLP i will have an awesome summer holiday and then go off to University. Its exciting :) All my forms are pretty much done :)

I have nothing other to report atm except that life is peachy :)

baibai

Monday, 21 June 2010

Another Monday been an gone

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Saturday, 19 June 2010

Only 4 weeks left

Which is kinda scary isnt it? My gap year has almost come to an end, and what a year its been. Still, no point getting nostalgic and refelctive quite yet because the best is yet to come!
Its been a good week :)
Tuesday was an average one, with Lunch Club and in class support at Northbrook, and then Live Lounge.
On wednesday on the way to Barn we bumped into a kid from Northbrook who we hadnt seen at the clubs in ages coz of his new extra-curricular stuff, and it was great to see him again. We got the same bus and he was telling us about his drumming and his cricket match he had just been at - his team won the interschools tournament! I was so proud :D
After he'd got off at his stop, a gentleman across the aisle turned to us and told us what a bright and special boy he was and thanked us for encouraging him. It was fantastic to know that what we do is appreciated, and not just by those who are immediately impacted. It also reassured me that what we do is having a positive impact.
Barn was down at Home Park again, and the barn guys played football with the home park guys, and we are starting to make connections. Please pray for protection over what we are doing there, because its all still just starting out.

Theres lots to look forward to - theres a big service for peace in Peckham tomorrow night, which would be great to pray for. Its aiming to bring together the communities of peckham and deptford/new cross, which have a long history of aminosity. Also coming up is Calum and Carolyn's wedding, and the Arts Showcase Final, which you are all warmly invited to, as we need to fill a 600 seat theatre :) Then the last big bash will be Graduation :)

Please pray for me :) Life is gonna be normal for 4 more weeks then it gets majorly shaken up again as i move on. I know ill be fine and ill adapt, but i tend to freak out unnecessarily about things :P

over n out~

Monday, 14 June 2010

Doshte?

well its sure been an eventful weekend! An eventful season tbh - i think ill look back on this as when it all happened. Do you ever get that, where you know that what is happening is momentous, but you honestly couldnt say where things were going? This is one of those times.

On sunday i saw my first arrest. The police rolled up and knocked on this guy's door and took one of them away in a police car. It was holding up the traffic, but i have never seen a more patient traffic queue XD. I wonder whats gonna happen to him, and why he went away.

I also saw my first fight. Well, i say fight - it was quite short but it wasnt a playfight. One of the guys drew blood. It was kinda thrilling actually XD

Today was the last day of Presentations. Everyone did really well, and they were so interesting and diverse. Well done all you XLP peeps! i love ya! Next week we are back to having leaders and guest speakers do Mondays. I cant wait to get my feedback sheet back - i did better than i thought i could, so im squee-ing for the results~

We have the Hazel Grove bus launch on thursday (ill remember my hoodie this time XD ), which i am looking forward to. Its gonna be manic but so good! If the sense of community is anything like at Milford Towers, its gonna be awesome. :)

BAI BAI~

Sunday, 13 June 2010

The Pack At Your Back

Just venting tonight :P
Someone wrote me a poem:

"lonely but never alone
leaving tracks to follow
walking our own paths
but always howling at the moon
finding solace in that year we ran together
chase after God
watch your dreams come true
and be resolute that you
will always have the pack at your back"

After all, goodbye just means another hello.
rhibee, nillachan and sack, hell grew an chib too, ill tell you all about it if youre curious.

This week has been Good. We had the milford towers bus launch on friday - the new bus is freaking awesome!!!! Its divided into lil sections, and the layout is sooo much better than the old one - it makes it seem so much bigger. Its gonna be a joy to work on too. It has 2 PS3s, a Wii, some gaming chairs for racing games, a lil room for a DJ set and mixing (the mac is finally being used to its full glory rather than just for facebook.) It even has a nailbar. ^_^

At the launch party there was a real sense of community, and people were really receptive to what we had to say when we went flyering. The security guy at WHSmith even came out to ask us what we were doing and took some flyers in for the staff.

Today me and Zo got together to cook for Elaine - we made cheese and mushroom omlette with salad and marmalade cupcakes for pudding. We were gonna make veggie lasagne but when we were looking for a dish, guess what we found in it! Veggie lasagne! Good job we are students and ingenious ;) It was awesome, and i felt quite chuffed with myself :)
Joel keeps nicking the cupcakes so they must be good~

We ate watching the footie - what a tense match! It was the first time id sat through a whole football match, and i actually really enjoyed it. (dw mum and dad, i'll never turn my back on rugby ;) ) The football fever is in the air, and you can feel the party buzz around london. Last night i walked back from YMAD, and you could feel the excitement in the air. There is nothing like sport to bring people together. All the flags are flying from peoples windows, and its great to see the patriotism actually. I think the British are very cynical about their country, but it all melts away when it comes to a good game of footie :)

It was my birthday on thursday. I am 19. Im not so twitchy about pubs now. I feel like i have the right to be there now and im not such a newbie~
Zo made me a card and all the students signed it, and they sang me happy birthday. It was a good day. ITs been a good birthday weekend so far. May it continue ^_^

Im on the new XLP website. Its written for young people by young people, to be a place where they can find information and support, and to promote Patrick's new book, Fighting Chance. Check it out at www.fightingchance.me
Ibi did an amazing job with the photography and design, so hats off to her ;)

Speckle over n out~

Tuesday, 8 June 2010

Hardrive discoveries

I found this on my hard drive the other day, i think i either didnt get round to posting it, or i didnt post it coz it was too mushy. I shall post it now. Please excuse the florid language. I wrote it just before the easter holidays i think :)

As i am two terms through my year at XLP it is time to take stock of all that has happened and how i have changed. I have come so far, and it feels like it is almost over. People are starting to look ahead to next year, and i know next term will be over before we know it.

I came to london a naive young girl with a stone splinter in my heart. God has grown me from a seedling into a young tree. He has made my heart beat and bleed, but from the bottom of it i can truly say He Is Good. Love is being vulnerable. He taught me how to love. I love London more than anywhere - almost more than iceland. For what it stands for, it is more monumental than Iceland was. In Iceland i was accepted. Here i am loved.

I will miss them beyond what i have ever experienced. They are the first people i have truly loved (or at least realised i loved), except reloaded. At FHCC i have community, i have family.

I will miss my wolf pack, but i know full well i may lose touch once i move on. Thats ok, we are all travelling in different directions. Its better to have known them and shared fun times, than not to have known them at all for fear of parting.

the times i have shared with them are special. Little asked for, much given, no expectations. We can sit and watch the city and love it, or bat around jokes and games around a table with drinks. Times spent talking at that kitchen table i will always cherish.
you guys had better write to me, or at least email. I love yall~

I love watching london at night, from the top of Hilly Fields or Greenwich park, with the night time city spread like a jewel at my feet - it sighs its peaceful bustle onto the wind, and the sirens become marks of life rather than brief moments of panic like they are in the day time.

I shall miss london. I shall miss its trees, its random smash of buildings, the big red buses and the colours of the people. The random objects you can find in skips ( i have a noticeboard and a few CDs courtesy of skips), the boom of passing aeroplanes that wheel like birds over my little patch of london. Lewisham love eh.

It goes deeper than just my team mates. I love the very concrete. All the cracks and all the speed humps, the tin cans in the waterways and the scraggy little trees that cling to rooftops - theres so much life!

I am bewitched by the sparkle of raindrops that fall golden into streetlit puddles, the golden carnival that happens in the road when it rains at night, and the fresh fresh smell that breifly knocks the pollution out of the air.

thats one thing i wont miss about london. The air is freaking awful.

This has been the best thing i have ever done in my life. The challenge and the change of scenery has been very healing. I feel stronger, healthier, more aware of my self and my limitations, but more aware that i can push myself if i want. the message has been "Go For It My Daughter, The World Is Yours If Youll Take It." Daddy, i cannot say i will not let you down, but i can try, and i hope youll appreciate that much. Please help me as i try. I know i need a whole lotta grace, but i know you have a whole lotta grace to give.

I have never tasted God like i have this year.It hasnt been a monumental event like Soul Survivor, but more of a day to day reality -i have learned more about his patience, his grace, and his love, and how steady it is. He has invaded my life and taught me more of what to value, and that life is all about people and relationships. Being holed up in my room with all the knowledge of the world and nice furniture may be safe and comfortable, but it wont make me happy. Going to parties even when i dont feel like it, meeting with people, hearing their stories and sharing yours when it helps others, loving them beyond yourself, that is happiness. To give your time and thoughts to others and to think less about self.
Love is a waterfall.

Saturday, 5 June 2010

Meandering wafflings

Morning all~

I dont really know why im writing atm tbh. Its nearly the end of the hols so its not like i have much XLP stuff to report. The holidays have been alright. Short. I spose its my own fault for going to the big church day out on mon - which was awesome, and i wouldnt trade for anything. Good times with my good friends. Our car broke down on the way out, and we spent the night by the road. It was an adventure :) I like it when stuff breaks in and proves to us that we dont run the show. It breaks the power of Plans and Structure and Restrictions. Puts life into perspective. Its not about the economy, its about relationships.
It just means i spent less time at home than i woulda liked. Also i have theology project due monday. Makes me stressed. I dislike deadlines. Im also wrestling some personal demons. I get annoyed ive lost the ability to relax easily. Dont know what to pin the blame for that on. Hopefully come the summer when i have more free time to think i can sort thattun out. Not enough time to just be.

Ok, lol i think im going to be worrying some people up there, so i shall type in proper sentences so yall dont get freaked out about me :P Truth be told ive had some erratic sleeping patterns these last few days (whats changed lol), which could be half of it.

Listening to Switchfoot. Who are amazing~ Go listen to em now~
"Sleepover" tonight ^_^ Lots of anime and food and old friends, some of whom i havent seen since they went to Uni. Its gonna be good times :D

Back to work on Monday. We have a new Bus. Its gonna be great. Lots of parties n events this summer. Its gonna be manic but great fun~

Speckle over n out~

Tuesday, 1 June 2010

"Sick! Lets make a badman biscuit!"

I kid you not. One of the kids on the bus said that. I lolled inside XD

Its been really good to get the old Bus back - i missed it while it was away - but it is truly on its way out now. The tables are broken as well >_<
Luckily we are having the launch party for the new one this month! Woot! I cant wait to see what the new one is like, and to get to use it.

The launch party gave me the opportunity to go see more of the milf, as we had to post flyers to advertise it. I really liked it, i could so live there, despite its reputation and slight dilapidation. The views from there are amazing too. I found the perfect route onto the roof ;)

I've been feeling slightly disenfranchised with XLP lately, because of the weird hours, my boss being busy and slightly stressed, and the feeling that all our hard work wasnt appreciated. But this week has given me a fresh inspiration. Our boss told us that this has been the most manic year she's ever had with lots of meetings, and that she really appreciated us pulling our weight and keeping the whole thing running, and at the weekend i really took the time to chill. I find when i get busy and stressed i forget how to relax, so even if i do have a sabbath day, it makes no difference unless i make my heart have a break as well as my body. I went to South Bank and had a day away from the familiar landmarks of SE, which was really refreshing. I was reminded of the wider picture, while a good friend reminded me that actually, i can make a difference. All it takes is faith. I have realised that your success is not proportional to your ability. Success is proportional to your confidence and faith. Dare to risk it with the belief you *can* do it, and usually you will :)

Just thought id share that lil nugget with you.
Time for a badman biscuit...

"The Light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it"

So, it been a totaly crazy week! As usual i have left my blog update too long and all the events have piled up, so i'll dedicate this one to Wednesday~

As you may know from one of my previous blog posts, a 16 year old boy was stabbed in Home Park in Sydenham a few weeks ago, and although it felt like a long time, it was amazing how quickly the hype died down. A few people in the Barn and church had said we should be doing prayer walks around sydenham, and Nick Pearton's tragic death only fueled the urgency to do this - one of the youth had a chat to Jezza and so we went down there instead of having the normal barn programme.

A woman from the same road as the Peartons came to Barn to tell us more about the situation, and her heart for the family and the estate really moved us - truly she is salt and light. After some sung worship we all trooped out down the road to the estate. It was so amazing to be involved, we were literally stamping out the kingdom onto the pavements and roads as we went, and giving the enemy a real two fingered salute :P

We walked past Nick's house and saw all the cards and tributes people had left there, the flowers literally filled the front garden. The atmosphere in the estate felt really oppresive, and Nicks friends were hanging around in his front garden, and if you didnt know better it looked like they had just called on him and he was inside the house grabbing his shoes.

When we got to the park Mitchell shared a few words with us, and we got down to praying. A guy over by the play park was shouting "666" and "lucifer" at us, and it just brought home to me that spiritual battle is real.
We prayed for Nick's friends and they were very open with Jezza and some of the other leaders, and said that we had better come back. Im not sure what they thought about the spontaneous and heartfelt worship that we melted into, but they followed us like ghosts the whole time. By the end of the evening the atmosphere had definitely lifted, and we are planning to do a repeat trip - that place is so in need of prayer, and we cannot let Nick's friends down.

Afterwards everyone was buzzing, and we all felt like such a community. Several people said this is what real church felt like. I am fed up of pew warming. Lets go do stuff :D

over n out~